Bu sabah uyand\u0131m . Yata\u011f\u0131n sol taraf\u0131na bakt\u0131m . Ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131 usulca cama vuruyordu .Ayak ucumda k\u00f6pe\u011fim \u00c7\u0131t\u0131r\u2019\u0131n k\u0131p\u0131rdan\u0131\u015flar\u0131 vard\u0131. Hafif\u00e7e kafam\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131m g\u00f6zlerine bakt\u0131m . G\u00f6zleri k\u0131p\u0131rd\u0131yor ama a\u00e7\u0131k de\u011fildi yine muhtemelen sayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m belki bin iki y\u00fcz\u00fcnc\u00fc r\u00fcyas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyordu.Kafam\u0131 tekrar yast\u0131\u011fa koydum . G\u00f6zlerinde ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131k belirtilerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ne cabuk ge\u00e7mi\u015fti y\u0131llar onun ilk evimize geli\u015fini hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.Ben oniki ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131m o ise bir ayl\u0131kt\u0131.\u015eimdi ben yirmialt\u0131 o ise ond\u00f6rt ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131k .Geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z koskocaman ond\u00f6rt sene vard\u0131 .Bir \u00f6m\u00fcre s\u0131\u011fabilir miydi? Biz s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k . Y\u0131llarca bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m o siyah g\u00f6zleri zaman ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e beyazl\u0131klar kaplam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.Y\u0131llar onu yormu\u015ftu belki de g\u00f6zleri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f hareketleri yava\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ve biz konu\u015fmadan anla\u015fmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftik .<\/p>\n
Ben d\u00fcnyaya bir s\u0131f\u0131r yenik ba\u015flayanlardan\u0131m .Hani sizin \u015fans\u0131z dedi\u011finiz insanlardan\u0131m . Engelli bir insan olarak d\u00fcnyaya gelip sonra hayata bir gol atmay\u0131 ba\u015faranlardan\u0131m . D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum da s\u00f6ylemesi \u015fimdi ne kadar kolay ya\u015famas\u0131 o kadar kolay olabilmi\u015f miydi? Hay\u0131r olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 .\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n alayc\u0131 ve duygusuz bi \u015fuursuz s\u00f6zleri d\u00fcn gibi akl\u0131mdayd\u0131 .\u00c7\u0131t\u0131r o g\u00fcnlerde bana en iyi arkada\u015f olmu\u015ftu . dost ,karde\u015f hersey olmu\u015ftu. Bazen d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum da ona \u00e7ok fazla y\u00fckm\u00fc verdim ya\u015farken diye kendi y\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fc hafifletmek i\u00e7in onumu y\u00fcklerime bo\u011fdum. O benim ac\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 , mutsuzluklar\u0131m\u0131 hafifletmek zorunda m\u0131 kald\u0131 yoksa beni sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in mi hayat\u0131 benimle payla\u015ft\u0131.Bazen o kadar seviniyorum ki konu\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc belki konu\u015fsayd\u0131 bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcklerimin tam tersini s\u00f6ylerdi bana. Yok yok hi\u00e7 sanm\u0131yorum o bana hep g\u00fc\u00e7 verdi ve cesaret verdi . Ya\u015fama sebebi ve sevinci verdi .S\u0131ra bana m\u0131 geldi \u015fimdi o g\u00fcc\u00fc ben mi ona vermeliyim . San\u0131r\u0131m ben onun kadar g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olam\u0131yorum .Ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerine birg\u00fcn bakamayaca\u011f\u0131m korkusuyla g\u00f6zlerimi g\u00f6zlerinden ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rken bunu nas\u0131l ba\u015farabilirdim ki evet korkuyorum onu birg\u00fcn kaybetmekten korkuyorum .Birg\u00fcn ayak ucumda koca siyah g\u00f6zlerin bana bakamayaca\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinden korkuyorum . Birg\u00fcn bize ait y\u0131llar\u0131n kaybolmas\u0131ndan korkuyorum ve en ac\u0131s\u0131 ya\u015f yirmialt\u0131 yaln\u0131z kalmaktan korkuyorum \u2026.<\/p>\n
BU yaz\u0131m\u0131 ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn ba\u015fka yaz\u0131m\u0131 ararken farkettim ve \u00c7\u0131t\u0131r beni terk edeli d\u00f6rt y\u0131l oldu. San\u0131r\u0131m d\u00f6rt y\u0131l boyunca cesaret edip okuyamad\u0131m ama zaman seni unutturmasa da ac\u0131y\u0131 hafifltiyor senden sonra yerine ba\u015fka bir k\u00f6pek alamad\u0131m nas\u0131l alabilirdim ki sadece sans eseri kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir kedi dostumu sahiplendim onu da seviyorum ama seni bir ba\u015fka seviyorum Umar\u0131m gitti\u011fin yerde mutlusundur \u0131slak burun belki birg\u00fcn tekrar kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131r\u0131z seninle\u2026<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dilan Karatas\u00a0 \/\u00a0 AVRUPAPRESS<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bu sabah uyand\u0131m . Yata\u011f\u0131n sol taraf\u0131na bakt\u0131m . Ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131 usulca cama vuruyordu .Ayak ucumda k\u00f6pe\u011fim \u00c7\u0131t\u0131r\u2019\u0131n k\u0131p\u0131rdan\u0131\u015flar\u0131 vard\u0131. Hafif\u00e7e kafam\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131m g\u00f6zlerine bakt\u0131m . G\u00f6zleri k\u0131p\u0131rd\u0131yor ama a\u00e7\u0131k de\u011fildi yine muhtemelen sayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m belki bin iki y\u00fcz\u00fcnc\u00fc r\u00fcyas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyordu.Kafam\u0131 tekrar yast\u0131\u011fa koydum . G\u00f6zlerinde ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131k belirtilerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ne cabuk ge\u00e7mi\u015fti y\u0131llar onun ilk evimize […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":16408,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,16,3,18,19,2],"tags":[3003,7437],"class_list":["post-16407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-avrupa","category-belcika","category-dunya","category-kultur-sanat","category-tanitim","category-turkiye","tag-hayat","tag-kisa-bir-oyku"],"yoast_head":"\n